The Best Days With You

Adoption Day!

2012-01-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas Ornament

In March Ryland will have been in our family for a whole year. Today, January 20th, 2012 is his "signing ceremony" in which all the legal paperwork has been completed and his last name is changed to ours!

I have been reflecting back on our time with him so far and the adoption process, and I have many things I'd like to take the time to write about. But for today, I just want to say that I am grateful to be his mom, to have the honor of knowing and loving him.

My hope for the first year was simply that we get to know each other and he would begin to attach and trust us. Advancing in other areas would just be a bonus. I truly feel that our prayers were answered--he fits right into both our small and extended family perfectly. He has come to believe that he will stay with us and that we love him unconditionally and he returns that love.

There have been many challenges-- I am proud of him and every one of us for continuing to persevere through them. I'm so thankful for the prayers and support for our family, friends, teachers and Ryland's family members who are still involved in his life. I often remind him how many people love him and it's really true!

It's scary and humbling to become responsible for a little person who has a heart that needs healing. He is teaching me a lot. People say he is lucky to have us, but we are the most blessed to have been chosen for him.

His smiles and hugs melt my heart every day. He is a boy that is full of energy and curiosity and the desire to be constantly interacting. He is growing in his faith in God's power. He loves to joke and has quite an imagination. He is beginning to trust us to comfort him when he's hurt or scared and help to handle his anger. He is having fun making friends and trying new things.

Oh, there are many plans for celebrating in the next few weeks, but today he woke up early, full of excitement. He will have his new name! He will eat pizza and his Grandma will make a cake! He will wear his favorite plaid shirt with a snake on it! He will see some of his other siblings! (I hope he takes a nap on the drive this afternoon because he hasn't slept much the last two nights)

I have to say I am also very glad to be done with the paperwork and visit for the state--that was a long process!

We love you, Ryland! We are glad to have you as our son and happy to make it official today!

Whipped Syllabub Recipe (New Year's Eve)

2012-01-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

When Jessamyn was in 3rd grade, she took a class based on the American Girl books. One day they made several recipes, including this one called Whipped Syllabub. We really liked it and somehow it has become the one tradition we make every New Year's Eve. Otherwise, our tradition is to try a new recipe or activity every year.

Syllabub is from old England, "bub" for bubbles and there are many variations, but most will have some kind of citrus juice, bubbly drinking-either alcoholic or not, sugar and whipped cream folded in.

The following is the recipe from the American Girl book, but I tend to add a lot more sparkling cider (usually peach) to make it more of a drink than a dessert. Enjoy!

Whipped Syllabub

2 cups heavy whipping cream
2 lemons
1 orange
1/2 cup sugar (we added another 1/4 cup or so after initial tasting)
1/4 cup sparkling white grape juice

Beat whipping cream in mixing bowl with whisk until thick (we used the whisk attachment on the stand mixer). Juice the lemons and orange. Add the sugar and grape juice to the lemon and orange juice and stir until blended. Pour the juice mix into the whipped cream. Sir just enough to blend. Should be thick and frothy! Spoon into glasses and enjoy!

A New Year

2012-01-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

Our traditional drink of "Whipped Syllabub" on New Year's Eve

The month of December was full of family time, games, cooking, crafting, wrapping, keeping secrets, lighting candles, and celebrating. As we turn the calender to a new month and year, I look forward to more simplicity and renewed dedication to the things that are important, though not as exciting as the holiday season!

This was Ryland's first Christmas with us and we tried to prepare him for each thing that we would be doing. I tried to plan for calm time between his wild happiness and his anxiousness. By Christmas Day he really did settle in and enjoy the day. We kept trying to put ourselves in his place, with everything new--that's a lot to take in.

The girl's had beautiful dance performances in Narnia again. My brother and his wife and baby were here for several days. We had days of crafts and cookies making and tamale making with family.

One of my favorite moments was on Christmas Eve. We went to church (Scott was playing drums in the band) and the final carol was "Go tell it on the Mountain" which Ryland had learned in his class. He turned and asked to sit on my lap and I was bouncing him while he sang at the top of his lungs and snapped his fingers. All my kids were right around me, happy, together, safe and peaceful. Jessamyn started clapping and pretty soon the whole crowd was clapping. It was such a moment of joy in my heart. We walked out into the cold clear night and headed home to light the fire and feast on tamales and dream of "the coziest morning of the year".

It's been a big year. Adding to our family. Having our oldest overseas. Travelling. Adjusting. I think my word for the year last year was growth and, yes, there was some growing!

Thankfulness Day 24: Love

2011-11-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

Photo by Peace

I am so thankful to day to have the unconditional love of God as my Heavenly Father. I am thankful to be forgiven and set free, and to have His peace and strength throughout my days.

I am thankful for the love of my family and friends. It means everything to me to have all of you in my life!

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Thankfulness Day 23: Thanksgiving Past

2011-11-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

Two years ago- trip to Mexico and my last picture with my grandparents while my Grandpa was still with us.

Thanksgiving is full of traditions for most people, but in our family, plans tend to change every year. My parents have often spend Thanksgiving Day working at a community dinner and my siblings usually spend the day with their in-laws. Most years we do have a special dinner together, but on a different day and sometimes it's enchiladas! Several times we have used the long weekend as a little vacation with just our kids--to Portland, or the mountains to play in the snow. Twice we have celebrated in Mexico with my cousins (turkey and tamales!). Last year my brother started the first annual "Crepesgiving"--the day after when you make a huge stack of crepes and stuff them with all your Thanksgiving Day leftovers. Although it's always a little different, I am thankful for the fun and special memories over the years.

Thankful Day 22: A Cup of Tea

2011-11-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

My favorite mugs with my favorite animals, given to me by my family

Today, and everyday, I am thankful for cup after cup of steaming tea!

Thankful Day 21: Laughter

2011-11-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

Gabriel during his Age of Inventions

I came across this picture and it's just how I feel with a cold tonight. I am thankful for my family who keeps me laughing!

Thankfulness: Adventures in Narnia

2011-11-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

2008 Mrs. Beaver

Peace's dance group performed at the mall today to promote their upcoming holiday showAdventures in Narnia . It was a fun surprise for me when she filled in last minute for someone else and played Mrs. Beaver, a role she had a couple years ago. It was such a cute comical part and we all just loved seeing her as the fussy, roly-poly, grandmotherly character in the show.

Today I am thankful for the opportunities the girls have had to dance in "Narnia" , and the things they have learned along the way, including being willing to jump back into an old part unexpectedly!

2010

Thankfulness Day 19: Sisters

2011-11-19T11:18:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for these girls, who spend a lot of time laughing together!

Thankful Day18: Brothers

2011-11-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for these boys!

Thankful Day 17: A Little Break

2011-11-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for a couple hours break while my mom takes Ryland to his Karate class-- I really needed to relax a bit!

Thankfulness Day 16: A Warm Home

2011-11-16T16:44:00.001-08:00

It's so chilly today, cold rain and maybe snow in the next few days (which you can be sure will inspire a post of great thankfulness from this Canadian girl). As I open the door, glad to be able to stay home the rest of the day, I think of those who face the night without shelter. Those who bundle up the best they can under a bridge or in an alley, or in a city of tents.

Tonight I am thankful for the warm, safe and comfortable home my family has. I am also thankful for the many people who work so hard to help the homeless, both here and overseas. Whatever the reasons are that brought a person to their place of need, I am thankful for those who offer them grace, a warm meal and a place to sleep- just enough hope to make it through another day, and maybe for some, the strength or resources to move toward a different life.

I am thankful for my parents who took us along to rescue missions, to give out food at reservations, and good news at rehab centers. I'm thankful that they took us to an orphanage in Mexico, and to the surrounding tent camps where families lived under tarps, searching daily for food and wood. We held babies and scooped oatmeal for the children. I'm glad they didn't keep us from seeing poverty and they showed us how to put our concern into action.

I am thankful for the experience of living and working in a teen shelter in Hollywood. I learned to see tender, broken hearts underneath the desperate situations the kids were in. Sometime we were able to help them get on a better path, sometimes they could only handle a meal, a blanket, a hug, a place to sleep it off and they were back to the street in the morning. But for a night, they could be safe and warm and part of a family of sorts.

I am thankful for having had enough hard times that I can have compassion. To have had times where we didn't always know how we would pay our bills and to have been blessed by the care of others. Once we were on a trip back from Colorado in our old car and ended up stranded a hotel in Wyoming in a snowstorm for several days (not fun at all with 2 little kids) and thinking without the gracious help of family, we would have run out of money and been really stranded.

I'm thankful for my parents, who have a non-profit called Free People . They get people involved in helping the needy in all kinds of ways. They give of their lives-feeding, listening, lending help, offering spiritual guidance each week. I know there have been many who have simply needed someone to be there and treat them with dignity and not just look right through them. ......It's tiring and it's heartbreaking and only sometimes there's a happy ending to a story. But it's always a good day when the Free Food and Music sign is up at the park or the Wow Hall!

I'm thankful for my husband who gives of his time and sound business to provide support for this ministry and others. Last night he provided sound for a fundraising event for the cold weather shelter. His generosity and that of many, many others who give indirectly is what makes it possible to provide help to many.

I am thankful for the moms who make muffins and cookies and kids who make scarves and sandwiches. I am moved to tears when we walk down under the bridge and volunteers are cooking for 500, playing music, sorting clothing donations, cutting hair, painting kids faces and filling balloons. I am reminded that we are all the same on the inside. We all want to know like someone cares.

I am also thankful for many who serve the poor in other countries. Our friends the Clays, with Apparent Project, work in Haiti-- finding ways for families to be able to work and keep their children and to provide housing for those affected by the earthquake.

Tonight as my family members come in out of the rain, eat a warm meal and curl up under a soft blanket, I am thankful for our cozy home and I don't take it for granted.

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Thankfulness Day 15: Even When I Don't Feel Thankful

2011-11-15T05:58:00.000-08:00

The beauty of looking at things a different way Photo By Peace

Over the past two weeks I've written about things I'm thankful for, the easy obvious things, and it's true that I am very blessed. More than just looking for something to add to my my list, I have been trying to change my attitude my having a grateful heart in all things. When I find myself unhappy, frustrated, disappointed or overwhelmed, I have been trying to shift my thoughts to a place of thankfulness--not a feeling, but a choice of where to put my focus.

When I feel like I am failing
When I have more to do than I can do in a day
When my child is angry
When messes pile up
When plans fall through
When my family is sick
When things break

I can choose to be thankful

For the place I'm in, the struggles that will strengthen me,
For all things working for good
That I have these loved ones
That I have these things
That I have these opportunities

So as I look ahead to this day: cooking, cleaning, teaching, driving kids to things, getting groceries.... an ordinary day, but there are so many things I can thank God for and that is what will make today feel like the amazing gift it is.

Thankfulness Day 14: Ryland

2011-11-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

I am thankful to have Ryland in our family! At this time last year, we had seen his picture and said that we would be interested in finding out more about him. Now it sometimes feels like he's been here forever because he fits into our family so well.

Ryland has a big personality-- talkative, curious and silly. He knows what he wants and likes to be in charge! He loves to learn and asks a lot of questions. He is very affectionate and likes to wrestle with Dad and Gabriel every chance he gets. He loves to hear stories and make up his own. He loves to run and is interested in all kinds of sports and super heroes. He makes friends everywhere we go. He loves animals, especially dogs. And, as I write this, he wants you all to know that he likes ice cream!

Ryland and I have fun playing games, getting outside and cooking together. I love his smile,and his happy singing and dancing. He has a precious heart and I am blessed to be his mama!

Thankfulness Day 13: Bethany Peace

2011-11-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my daughter Peace, who changed her own name at three years old! She is a peaceful girl, gentle but fierce when she wants to be. I love to spend time with her.

Peace is unique and confident and doesn't worry about what people think of her. She's not afraid of anything and wants to travel the world. She is a thoughtful friend and kind to people, enjoying babies and time with grandparents. Peace never stops dancing and when she's on stage her face lights up in such a beautiful way. When she gets a role in a play, it's always the sweet but sassy one. She is creative, always drawing, taking photos, painting and writing and full of ideas. I'm proud to see her working hard to balance her artistic side with being organized and dependable.

Peace looks for beauty and finds it in nature. She reads constantly, drawn to stories of fairies and dragons and strong warrior girls. She has many dreams and I am enjoying seeing her grow into all that she is meant to be. I'm excited to see where her adventurous spirit will take her in life!

Thankfulness Day 12: Gabriel

2011-11-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my 16 year old son, Gabriel. I am a blessed mama in that he gives me a couple of really great hugs every day, and when he does, I am amazed at how tall and strong he is!

Gabriel is my quiet one. He really enjoys time alone, but when he opens up it's a gift we all enjoy. I am always interested to hear his thoughtful opinion on things. He has a quirky sense of humor and makes us laugh so much. He has the biggest imagination and is always full of all kinds of ideas. He is an example to me of a person who doesn't judge or criticize, but always finds the good in people. He is serious and very disciplined about the projects he works on. He is quick to help around the house without being asked and do his schoolwork without complaining. He is playful and patient with his new little brother. He is a gentleman to me and his sisters.

Gabriel has a wide range on interests and talents--many of which involve computer things that I will never understand, but like to hear his enthusiasm about them. I like to see his creativity when it comes to writing, art, graphic design and music. It will be interesting to see what opportunities he has with all these things as time goes on. But for now, I am just enjoying these years with him, buying a lot of groceries, and treasuring every hug and smile!

Thankfulness Day 11:Jessamyn

2011-11-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my first born girl, Jessamyn . I love her as my daughter and my friend and it's so nice to have her home from her world travels, at least for a while!

I admire so many things about Jessamyn.She is independent and confident and honest. She is so creative and has a unique style. She loves to be with people and knows just how to put together a fun party. She is a beautiful dancer and passionate about her beliefs. She is brave and takes risks. She is thoughtful and generous and has a great sense of humor. She is organized and dependable.

Jessamyn is the first child I've raised to adulthood and I am proud of the young woman she is becoming. She uses her strong will to make good choices (something I sure prayed for many days when she was young!) She has an open heart to learn and grow, and love those around her.

I am thankful for her beauty and sparkling personality and I look forward to see all she will be in her life!

Thankfulness Day 10: My Kids

2011-11-10T15:43:00.001-08:00

Picture by our talented friend, Dodi

One of the big kids said something about them being The Three Gingers and Ryland quickly added that he was the Gingerbread Man!

I'm honored to be the mom of these four amazing kids. Every day they inspire me, make me laugh and teach me things. I'm thankful to have the relationships that we have and the time to be together. I am truly blessed by each one of them!

Thankfulness Day 9: Scott

2011-11-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my husband Scott. He makes me laugh everyday. He calls and tells me to look at the sunset or the moon rise or the snowflakes or rainbows. He watches the roadside wild flowers and picks me a bouquet at just the right time. He brings me his morning espresso for a sip because he knows that's all I want. He is generous and hard working and is a fun loving dad to our kids. He encourages me and supports me in the the things I want to do. I appreciate how he has been willing to grow together through our 21 years of marriage--richer and poorer, sickness and health, better and worse-- and how he loves me for who I am.

Thankfulness Day 8: Perspective

2011-11-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

Daydreaming: view from our balcony in Hawaii

Today was a challenging day, but looking for things to be grateful for helped me focus on the blessings I have!

Thankfulness Day 7: Play

2011-11-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

Teaching, reading, playing games, taking walks,cooking and doing crafts with kids are things that come pretty naturally to me, but sitting and playing with toys somehow seems harder. I know I'm not the only one and I'm not sure why it is that way, but kids sure like it when you take the time to do the thing they want to do. The older kids always had each other , so it surprised me at first when Ryland was looking for someone to play toys with. His speech therapist also suggested that we use the process of play to help him progress with his use of language (grammar, things like opposites, etc.)

We had this train set out and I took a little time to sit with him and before I knew it a story began to grow. We needed pennies to buy blocks to build towns and the bucket of plastic animals for a farm and wolves in the wooden tree forest. A boy was taking a train ride for his 8th birthday and choosing his favorite animal when the bad guys attacked..... and he became a police kid, and the train crashed.....

Sometimes I can be so focused on accomplishing things or not letting the mess get to out of control. Today was a good reminder to me how time to play is good for both of us.

My sister Rebeca, wrote her thankful blog (featuring my cute nieces and nephews) today about children's imagination. We must be kindred spirits!

Thankfulness Day 6: Giving

2011-11-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Every month we give Ryland a certain amount of allowance--some to spend, some to save and some to give. He had saved up $12 in his giving envelope and was very happy to donate it toward filling a box with gifts for a boy his age through Operation Christmas Child. He went to the store with me and picked out things he would like and was quite excited to fill the box, including a picture of us, and take it to church this morning.

Our family has been very blessed in many ways and I believe doing things like this throughout the holidays not only will help someone else, it helps kids learn to be generous instead of just thinking about how much they can get get under the tree. The older kids have been more than wiling to give of both their time as well as have less materially in the past few years so we can share more. I'm glad to see them have that value for themselves.

I'm looking forward to this first holiday season with Ryland.... so much fun to share. This morning he was telling me how the Sunday School kids will be singing some songs they are practicing: Silent Night and something about jumping over a mountain! (Go Tell it on the Mountain). I am also listening about the holidays in his past so we can do some things in a way that's familiar to him.

Thankfulness Day 5: Flowers in November

2011-11-05T10:21:00.000-07:00

View from our front door

Having grown up in a much colder climate, I am always amazed and thankful that we still have flowers in November, and a few that will probably survive the winter. I'm especially liking the yellow and red sunflowers we planted aloing the street this year.

Thankfulness Day 4:Joy

2011-11-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

Visiting a coffee plantation in Hawaii

This morning two ads caught my eye:
INSTANT JOY (choose 10% off my entire purchase, or $10 off my $40 purchase or $30 off my $80 purchase)
JOYLICIOUS (trademarked) (the bliss my heart can experience when I bite in to a poptart--really?)

As the holidays aproach, retailers are already promising us love, joy, and peace, family harmony, beauty and all our wishes come true if we will only shop at thier store.

May we remember things that bring true and lasting joy in our hearts , even when life's circumstances are hard:

The peace of God
Unconditional love
The gift of time with family and friends
The beauty of creation
The fulfillment of helping others
Freedom and opportunity
A child's smile

Thankfulness Day 3 : Backyard Tree

2011-11-03T15:37:00.000-07:00

This is the view from our dining room window. This maple tree is so pretty through each season: the new tiny leaves of spring, the dark green shade in summer, now beginning to turn red. When it's bare in the winter we can see lights of the two story houses back behind us, which makes me appreciate the privacy we have the rest of the year.

As long as we put food out, this tree is a playground for many bluebirds and squirrels. It's been a good climbing tree and hiding place for certain boys, and a perfect spot for agirl with a book and a glass of iced tea on a sunny day.

We like this tree so much we have another ready to plant in the back and have planted a similar, more golden, one in the front. It's already grown a lot and will soon give us shade.

I'm thankful to live surrounded by trees, to watch them grown and change and for our family to put down our roots in this home.

Thankfulness Day 2: Morning

2011-11-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

I am a morning person. I like to be up early…not everyone in my family feels the same, but they all do on the weekdays so we can have time together.

As our kids became teenagers, they all began to have their own evening activities and Scott started working later. This made it hard to have a family dinner with all of us many nights. So our solution became having breakfast together in the mornings. We make our tea, coffee, and breakfast for those who are ready and gather around the table or in the living room. Some may be wrapped in blankets, sleepy. We use the time to talk about anything and everything. Some may be on a laptop sharing a news story, checking in with each other about as our calendars or budget, planning the day’s or week’s events. Sometimes we don’t say a lot, sometimes we end up having a deep and meaningful conversation. Then it’s time to send Dad out the door with hugs and a check to make sure he has his phone! And our day begins…

We have dinners together on the days we can and often all end up chatting in the living room for a while at night, too, but these morning times have become a good routine and I am thankful for them.

Hobbit Breakfast

Thankfulness Day One: The Scents of the Season

2011-11-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

As we walkeddown the road with friends, crunching through the leaves on a sunny afternoon,I breathed deep the scents of the maple leaves and sighed. I love this time ofthe year, October blue skies and all the changing colors. One of my favoriteparts of fall is the great smells:

Wood smoke

Soup

Leaves

Spicy Tea

Pumpkin andSweet Potatoes

Gingerbread

Candles

Apples andPears

Thanksgiving dinner

They make mefeel like staying home, cozy, and with my family. They remind me to breathe deep,the season is short.

Ginger Cookies

(I found this recipe that my mom has had for years and they turned out perfectly)

Cream:

3/4 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1/4 cup molasses

Add:

2 cups flour

2 tsps. baking soda

1 tsp each: cinnamon, ginger, cloves

Roll into 1" balls, roll in sugar and place 2" apart on greased cookie sheets. Bake 10-12 minutes at 350.

They turned out both chewy and crunchy and made the house smell so good. Perfect with either a glass of fresh cold apple cider, or with pumpkin ice cream.

Our Family Grows!

2011-07-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

R- age seven Easter 2011

“I won’t ask for ice cream tonight, because tomorrow is an ice cream day”

“Why would that be?”

“Because tomorrow this will be my family for four months.”

A happy day to celebrate, and any excuse to have ice cream!

Four months and many times I do wish I had written more here, but there’s just so much to say… some feelings too big for words, some days too hard to want anyone to see, some details too small without a big picture update….and the hours just full, full, full of living.

Like anytime you add to your family, the first months are an adjustment. Scott and I don’t always get the time to talk like we would like to, but we’ll catch each other’s eye and smile over the kid’s heads and I think we are right where we want to be with what’s important to us. I love them all so much and growing to love our new son has been quite an adventure.

Here is a bit I wrote to family and friends on Day One:

We had a good drive to (the town), beautiful snow and lakes. We got settled in our hotel, met with R's caseworker, and then went to meet him. My first thought was that he was smaller than I expected (and even cuter!). He had a decorated shirt from his school celebration today, so we talked about that for a while. We spent time looking through our photo book with him. He's very excited to meet his big brothers and sisters and kept looking at their Karate picture. We saw his room and went outside with a basketball for a while, then we went out for pizza (his birthday dinner

choice-- yes, he turned 7 today!) After dinner we gave him birthday gifts-- a Toy story dinosaur, a Bible story book and a Mohawk hat knit by Jessamyn.

We met a few of the relatives throughout the day and his foster brothers who were very friendly.

Tomorrow we'll take him to school and meet with his teachers and have dinner with his "grandparents" who have adopted his 1/2 siblings. Friday we have an appointment with his counselor, may meet another sibling, more caseworker meetings and, of course, some swimming at the hotel!

Everything's gone really well so far. He's so excited and talked non-stop to us. Giggles, dimples and we got a hug before bed...

And a few days later :

Things I’ve learned about R: he loves to help cook, wrestle with dad and brother, stories at night, loves all the dogs we see at the park and really wants one, is excited every time we see a squirrel, “wishes” for lots of things in the store, keeps his room really clean, and likes to do everything for himself. He’s been very generous with hugs and giggles

About a month later:

R is doing really well. We are enjoying him so much as we see him relax and show his lively personality more and more. He loves his siblings and cousins and is making friends fast. He’s just started swimming with no help and we play outside a lot. We’ve now get everything set up with Drs. dentists, a counselor who’s helping us talk about “feelings” (of which he has a lot sometimes—esp. anger) and speech therapy, in which he continues to improve, both in pronunciation and using the right words.

R is in a charter school. He attends a couple classes a week and has an hour long one on one meeting with his supervising teacher each week. She’s great and I teach him at home too—lots of hands on activities and breaks to avoid frustration. We will continue to work at home a little , esp. on reading, throughout the summer.

Three months:

R is continuing to get more settled and doing really well. We are continuing to learn every day, and the more we do, the better we can love him and help him . What I am not concerned about is our ability to “attach” to each other—he is definitely bonding with us and that is the most important thing and what people worry about going into an adoption. I’m finding that the more we build a good relationship, the easier it is to help him with his feelings and behaviors—I knew that in my head, but I’m figuring out how to actually work on it every day. It’s kind of backwards from what I naturally want to do sometimes. He is a great boy…

He had a tooth pulled and just needs one more filling—glad to have that almost done. He has also grown a half inch since he got here—measured in the 50^th percentile for height and 30^th for weight. We continue to see the counselor almost every week. Speech therapy ended last week with a little party in class. Sadly his teacher lost her job in the budget cuts, so he will have a new one next year. Yesterday was pizza and bowling with Sunday school—R won the bowling game in his group and had a lot of fun—I need to keep bowling in mind for a rainy day next winter.

Fun stuff—R is swimming all by himself! He’s so excited and proud and really loves it. We went over to the Karate school and watched some of a class, we’ll sign him up for July and see how that goes. He’s making good friends with a boy named Joshua from school who lives near us. We made plans to go out to a nearby farm on Friday, but Joshua was sick so we’ll try again. The farm has goats and sheep and other animals you can pet and feed. (R talks nearly every day about a wanting a dog and we do plan to get him in the future) He’s made friends with a friend’s dog named Coconut.

We have been working on the yard, planting and spreading new bark. R loves to work with Scott – I took some really cute pictures of him out there with a small shovel.

So we have the last of our school classes coming up, day camp at church and a school day camp we will attend for at least one day, maybe more. Then looking forward to some lazy days!

We are playing Uno and Skip-bo almost every day and I keep meaning to get the Jenga from my mom’s house.

So there a few glimpses of our time so far as well as Facebook posts to look back on and many pictures.

The next 8 weeks of summer look pretty laid back and I welcome it— these past for months have been very full. Besides R’s arrival, the 2 teenagers at home have very busy lives and we talk to Jessamyn (who was in Hawaii for 3 months and now in Japan) almost every day.

I have lots more to say and will try to get here more often. I so appreciate the thoughtfulness and prayers of our family and friends. We are very blessed to have the support we have.

April 2011

Adopting

2011-03-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

I celebrated my fourteenth birthday with a candle stuck in a pineapple, picnicking by the side of the road in Mexico. We were on our way to visit an orphanage, Colonia Gurerro. I had been there once before and my parents had friends who worked there and we had sponsored various children through the years. We spent several days there, visiting the local farm workers camps where the conditions were heartbreaking, working in the kitchen, serving oatmeal and smiling across the language barrier. I went to the school and shook a tambourine during the church service. But the thing that moved my heart the most was the babies. I held as many as I could, for as long as they would let me. There was one we called the raisin baby, he was so small and wrinkled. I wanted to take them all home. I’m sure I begged my parents many times to see if we could (on this same trip I also wanted to bring home the baby monkey in a diaper with a hole cut out for his tail from the zoo, too). As I look back, I think that is where I began to think of someday helping a child in need through adoption (the desire to have a monkey somehow didn’t stay with me!).

Four years later, Scott and I met. In a very early conversation I remember saying I wanted to adopt and he said he did, too. When we married, we planned to have two kids and adopt two. We soon had three beautiful children within five years and our hands full! Adoption was still in our minds and we watched as several friends and Scott’s sister began to foster or adopt. We soaked in their stories and waited. Waiting goes hand in hand with adopting…. We waited for our little ones to get older, to move to a bigger house, to overcome some challenges including my struggles with anxiety and depression. But in my mind were all those children, often in my dreams, who simply needed what we’d been blessed with—a family.

Four years ago our youngest was ten and we moved into the bigger house. We had come to believe that, for us, adopting through the state system would be the way to go. I made the phone call for information on the classes we needed to take and there began the long process…they didn’t call me back. Several calls and messages later, I finally talked to someone and found out the next set of classes we would be available to start was four months away. We waited…

We attended an all day orientation and classes for three hours every Tuesday night for eight weeks. It was an interesting group—people like us who wanted to adopt or foster for the first time and many grandparents and even great-grandparents, aunts and uncles who were adopting a related child that they already were caring for. Lots of stories and every seemed to feel the need to tell theirs, which made some of those classes pretty long! We went through topics covering the state processes, parenting skills, trauma and abuse, and discussion with experienced adoptive parents. These children had been in foster care, often many times and the state was terminating the birth parents rights to them and looking for a permanent adoptive home. What I think our teachers conveyed very well was a balanced view of reality and hope. The children have special needs of many kinds that would challenge us, but they can also come a long way with unconditional love and patience.

We completed the classes and were giving a very thick envelope of paperwork to fill out, including writing our personal histories and parenting perspectives. Just as we got started, Scott moved to a different company and began working longer hours. He really needed to focus on his job for a while and we to wait a while before we moved any further with adopting. Two years almost passed and we learned that we would have to take the classes all over again if we didn’t get our applications in. I remember working on answering our questions in a hotel room on the way home from a trip to Mexico, and rushing the envelope over to the office the next morning to make our deadline! We had to get medical forms filled out by our Drs. and references from friends and relatives. We had to decide what ages and kinds of needs we wanted to be considered for. There were many frustrations… everything took way longer than it seems like it should have, some things we had to redo because of delays and mistakes.

We were finally assigned a case worker. She visited our home, interviewed us and our kids and began to write our homestudy, a document that summarized all our information. In our 20th anniversary last June, our homestudy was complete and we sat in an office with a big book full of children’s bulletins, ready to begin the matching process. We were to choose the ones we were interested in, based on pictures and a one page description. We had decided to look at single boys or sibling sets of two, ranging in age from 2-7, feeling better suited to help with academic or behavioral needs more that medical needs . We chose several and our case worker sent our homestudy to each child’s case worker. The children’s caseworkers would chose three families for each child and then an independent committee would select the family they believed to be the best match for that child.

We found out the bulletins were a little outdated, some kids had already been adopted. Then our various workers went on medical leave and vacation, so we didn’t hear much during the summer. One worker was interested in us, but as we learned more about that particular situation we decided it wasn’t a good fit for us. In October our worker emailed us several new child bulletins and we said the initial “yes, we would be interested” to five or six of them. And we waited, wondered and lived our already full lives as a family. I often thought of how much more difficult the passing of time must be for a child who is waiting for the promise of a “forever family”.

Right before Thanksgiving , we were told we had been selected to go to the committee for a seven year old boy. We read more about him and decided to continue the process. The committee met on January tenth and we waited nervously for the phone call. They meet, listen to the child’s caseworker and counselor speak, and the worker for each family makes a presentation for that family and shares their book of photos. Then they deliberate and usually make the decision that day. It felt very odd to us that the child who would join our family would come to us in such an unusual way—based our yes and no, the appeal of a picture or description, the biases and ideas of the committee—a very unscientific process. We knew we could be a good family for many different children and just prayed a lot for a good decision to be made. I took the call and our answer was No, they had chosen another family who already had adoptive experience and a child of the same racial background. I felt very peaceful about the news, but strange that we had spent so much time answering questions and asking questions, making phone calls to the boy’s foster parents and counselor, preparing for the possibility of this specific boy and then suddenly the door closes and we will never hear anything about him again.

We were given access to the state’s new website at this point, which would make it easier to begin to look for other children. I was just starting to look, three days after the first committee decision, when I got a call from our worker—they were interested in us for a six year old boy, one of the ones we read about back in the fall! This time we knew what to expect and met with our worker to help answer questions for her presentation of our family, what about us would be a good match for him. I spent a couple hours on the phone with the boy’s foster family and his counselor and case worker. We wondered how many times we would go through this, but also felt so relieved to finally come to this point in the process! We knew when it did happen, the child would be placed with us within a couple weeks—but we didn’t know who to prepare for!

Though all this took longer than I would have imagined years ago, I was thankful for the stages of independence and maturity our kids had reached, and that we had waited until things were more settled at Scott’s work.

March 2, 2011. Committee day. A few last minute twists—one of the three families had dropped out, so there were just two of us for them to chose between. The meeting was in Klamath Falls, about four hours away—due to snowstorms and our worker breaking her arm, it was decided the 2 workers would attend by videoconference. Scott went to work and I used my nervous energy to clean the house. At 12:14 my phone rang—“Your family was chosen by the committee—Congratulations, you have a new son!” I called Scott immediately, told the kids, called the grandparents and my good friend who had praying with me so many times (this is where I got teary!) and , of course, made it Facebook official!

Before the child is told there is a seven day waiting period, during which time we are to be certified as guardian (legal adoption doesn’t happen for many months), read through every piece of paperwork about him and participate in making a plan to move him to our home. This is where we are right now. I hope to be talking with his case worker tomorrow to find out more details. We will be travelling and meeting with his foster family, counselor and school—and meeting our son for the first time! My mind is full of questions and I can’t imagine what it will be like for him or us! He knows he is going to be adopted and the day he will be told about us and see our picture book is next Wednesday, his seventh birthday.

At this point, I’m not going to put his picture or name up for general public viewing on the internet, but I can tell you a few things about him. He comes from a sadly typical background—never knew his birth father, has been back and forth to his birth mother until this fall it was determined that an adoptive placement would be better for him. He has several half-siblings, living with different people. He has been with his foster family for most of the past 3 years and they have been so good for him and he is doing really well, considering the instability of his early years. I’ve been on the phone a lot with his foster mom and believe we are talking about how to make this huge transition as smooth as possible and continue some contact with them and the guardians of his siblings. He is doing well in first grade, and is in speech therapy. He is very healthy and growing a lot lately. His racial background is African American/ Caucasian and he has a great smile (toothless at the moment!) and dimples. He likes to play outside and like all kinds of superheroes as his favorite toys and games. He wants his new family to have a big brother!

This has been a long and emotional journey and really it’s only beginning… we are so thankful for the love and support and prayers of our family and friends. Our boy will have so much to process, and parenting him will be so different than those we’ve parented from birth. I know there will be many challenges and surprises. I’m excited, nervous and peaceful at the same time, I have many questions and concerns, I want our older kids to have a good transition, too. Jessamyn is preparing to leave for her school in a month, so that’s also a big thing…not sure why it’s all happening at once, but it is and we will take one day at a time, loving our family.

What's Important

2011-01-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

This afternoon, between us girls, we are trying to make decisions on a schedule change, trying to get help for a log-in that isn't working, making dental appointments, trying to get a banking issue that's been going on for months resolved and trying to find out where in the world a package is .... all have the potential to be really frustrating for us! While these things need to get figured out, I am trying to put them in perspective.

Life can change in a moment and I have been thinking of that all day.

Last night we woke up to the sound of firetrucks, five of them plus an ambulance, on our street. There was a fire at a house in the cul-de-sac just around the corner from us. I don't know it started or how bad it was--there are tarps around the chimney and people working there this morning. The fire trucks were here for about two hours. I hope no one was hurt and I think how life can change in a moment.

This morning I went to read a blog on my list--one I've read for a couple years after reading a book the woman has written. Today's blog post is from her husband, saying she had a sudden stroke yesterday, is in serious condition, in and out of surgery...I think she's still in her 30's and she's a runner and has young kids --not what her family would have expected when they woke up yesterday.

Then I am also reminded of Haiti today, on the anniversary of the earthquake, as I read posts and blogs from our friends who live there. Things were already so difficult, then in one moment it became unimaginably worse.

Our lives can change in moment, and and I think I don't want to waste these peaceful moments being too frustrated with the bank and the guy who can't seem to get the package mailed ..... I want to remember there may come a day when I wish this was all I was dealing with.

Looking Back, Looking Ahead

2011-01-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

The year begins, full of newness and promise. Within a week, a day, a few hours maybe the shininess will wear off. I love new beginnings, I always have...but I know who I am and that I will never live up to all the intentions I have. Over the years I have found a lot more grace, I'm a lot more comfortable with myself and my life not being perfect. It goes by fast and I am finding more joy a long the way.

My word for the year is Growth. I want to grow in many ways, to continue to learn and change. Growth in nature occurs in many ways-- flowers and berries burst suddenly with the seasons, a tree trunk grows slowly over the years, bulbs wait quietly underground--everything has it's time and rhythm, and usually won't survive being forced. The process is beautiful, not just the end result. Drenching rain and warming sun are both essential. My prayer, for myself and my family, is that this year that we will grow in grace and find beauty in some way every day this year.

Something for my neglected blog

2009-01-31T10:59:00.000-08:00

So I got my blog moved and then never wrote anything. Since I'm being lazy after a late night, I thougt I'd do one of these little quizzes I never do.

One Word Answers:

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? funny
3. Your hair? morning
4. Your mother?inspiring
5. Your father? loving
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? surprising
8. Your favorite drink? tea
9. Your dream/goal? adopt
10. What room you are in? living
11. Your hobby? creating
12. Your fear? illness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? dance
16. Muffins? love
17. Wish list item? travel
18. Where you grew up? Canada
19. Last thing you did? breakfast
20. What are you wearing? hoodie
21. Your TV? new
22. Your pets?good-bye
23. Friends? best.
24. Your life? blessed
25. Your mood? happy
26. Missing some one?Joanna
27. Car? "Peppermint".
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
29. Your favorite store? hmmm...
30. Your favorite color? red
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? Monday 35. Who will resend this? none
36. One place that I go to over and over? Homesource
37. One person who emails me regularly? friend
38. My favorite place to eat? Thai.
39Why you participated in this survey? lazy
40.What are you doing tonight? sleeping

New Year's Day

2009-01-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

view from my our back door on a rare snowy day

Happy New Year 2009!

2006-10-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

Hello to anyone who reads this-yes, I've been a long time since I've written! i am planning on getting back to it, but in order to simplify things for now, i am only planning on posting new writing on my other blog. http://homeschoolblogger.com/MintFlower I have found this site easier to use for posting pictures, etc, but have found more of a "community" of bloggers at Homeschoolblogger who i relate to because home schooling. I still plan on writing the same kinds fo things( not just school stuff) , just keeping all at one place instead of 2. i hope you will find me there, and leave comments and maybe start a blog of your own if you don't have one yet--I hope to write more soon. Thanks for reading!

Alyssa

Big Weekend

2006-05-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Peace ~ Ballet

Jessamyn ~ Jazz

Jessamyn ~ Hip Hop

Gabriel won a gold medal at the Chess Tournament

The kids all enjoyed a big weekend. The girls had 2 dance recitals each and Gabriel competed in a Chess Tournament-- fortunately, they were both held at the same high school near where we live, so I could go back and forth. It was busy, but lots of fun and we got to see the results of their hard work this year.

Mother's Day Sweetness

2006-05-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

Peace gave me a mother's day gift of a certificate to a day of being taken care of by her. She is such a thoughtful girl and I can see how it makes her happpy to care for people. She borrowed a little brass bell from Grama that I was to ring if I needed anything . I was to spend the day relaxing!

She had planned 3 meals (she did this for my birthday last year also) and put them together with a little help. A parfait for breakfast -granola, yogurt and strawberries (everybody loves a parfait) Lunch was a quesadilla and salsa, and dinner was pasta with pesto and salad and a choice of chicken we had leftover or tofu with her own secret spice blend. She's the only 8 yr. old i know who loves to cook (and eat tofu) and who has business cards for giving back massages! She collapsed after dinner because she was "so exhausted" from all that hard work. I am blessed by her sweetness and pleased to see how she was responsible and organized to do this for me.

It was a nice Mother's day today and also on Sunday. It was good to have my own mom home after her trip and see her enjoy her kitchen makeover. Scott and I took a walk in the morning and found this lot where they had torn down an old house and we picked all these irises and other flowers and I came home with this huge "bride" bouquet. I'm glad to be a mom, there's nothing better.

I think I'll ring the bell f0r a massage now...

Spring 2006

2006-05-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures of what we've been doing this spring:

Making vegetable (Star Wars) people

Gabriel turns 11

Jessamyn goes to a St. Patrick's day Dance

The flowers are blooming

Peace is a Dryad for Narnia Night

Training hard in Karate

Easter Morning

Peace sews a pillowcase using the machine for the first time

Luxuriant Lounging

2006-05-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have long had a goal to practice more of what my sister calls Luxuriant Lounging—deliberate laziness. This past weekend I got to do just that. Scott had given me the Christmas gift of a day at the spa and a hotel room downtown in which to recover from my day at the spa without the activity and noise of the kids. I decided to combine this with a night out with him and finally got it all planned for this past weekend.

I started the day with a water aerobics class and soak in the hot tub at the gym. I did a little shopping and took my time. I met up with Gloria (originator and huge supporter of Luxuriant Lounging) at her house where she fed me a deluxe brunch and we were off for more shopping (chocolate in more than one kind at Trader Joe’s)

Then I arrived at the spa where they pampered me with calming teas and lemon water and the smells and sounds that made me feel like my world was really far away. I had a Body Polish treatment, a candlelit shower, a facial, a foot soak, and a massage. When I walked out I felt so relaxed and light and glowing (and a little greasy from all those layers of oils.)

I met Scott for dinner at the Oregon Electric Station, which is a restaurant built in a historic train station and you dine in a train car. I’d only ever actually had dinner there once before and it was so so good.

We got checked into the hotel and then across the courtyard to the Hult Center for the ballet. This was a collaboration of one of our favorite bands, Pink Martini and dance to their music. It was amazing and a great finish to a great day.

So, I did lounge and luxuriate and radiate and I’m thankful for my husband (who’s always a great gift giver) and had to do the travel that earned him the hotel stay points; everyone else—Papa for watching the kids (they were thrilled that you didn’t make them eat salad like mom amd Grama do) Josh for the gift certificate for dinner, and those wonderful women in my life who were excited for me and know much good a little lounging can do for the body and soul!

Afternoon

2006-05-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

Thursdays this term are busy from morning to night. The kids all seemed draggy and headachey and so I let them stay home from karate. It was so leisurely and made me think—

Is my life so complicated that it takes phone calls to 5 different people when I rearrange my plans? ( call in sick, cancel my walk with Gloria, tell one friend I can’t drive her son, tell another she doesn’t need to drive my daughter, tell another my son may be revived in time for chess and I’ll call her again in an hour or two)

So I LINGERED over my salad., talking silliness with the kids (who aren’t acting all that sick). I MEANDERED outside and LOUNGED in the melty warm sun while Scott worked on the sprinklers. I ENJOYED watching the butterflies on my flowers. I didn’t look at the clock or say “hurry” or “do you have your water bottles?” I PONDERED on how I should spend my stolen three hours—on the computer, reading, getting a project done? I PLAYED another game of chess with Gabriel (that didn’t take long because I’m not very good!) I finally WANDERED back here to the computer so I could write.

Is this why kids play hooky and people call in sick when they’re not? Time that’s suddenly come unplanned is a gift, even if it feels a little stolen. Time to DO NOTHING feels a little weird and makes me restless, but it’s a good thing. My flowers are growing fast and so are my kids and in a lot of ways, I am too. I want to be more comfortable with BEING STILL. Oh, now I only have an hour left……

Sunday Lunch

2006-04-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Most Sundays our big family gets together for lunch. We eat, we talk, we read the paper, hold the babies, play games, maybe eat some more. I guess it’s a tradition our kids will grow up remembering. I often have a sense of “this is as life was meant to be”. Breaking bread, sharing our homes and food, an abundance of flavors and laughter and chaos and togetherness. Pots of steaming soup and homemade bread, burritos, ice cream, gourmet coffee and herbal tea, and everyone has their “Famous” dishes-- Papa’s famous bean soup and carnitas , the fruit salad queen (me) Beca’s cakes and curries, Gloria’s tofu scramble, and anything mom makes is famous and enough to make anyone veer off their diet! I The littlest kid gets the high chair that was originally mine when I was 2 or 3. It’s when we wish our brothers were here and Dad looks around that table at our growing family and gets teary. It’s just a really great part of the week and it doesn’t feel right to miss it.

Today was so sunny and Scott’s been wanting to BBQ, so we had everyone over for Sunday Lunch here. Mom’s out of town, so we had to pull this one off by ourselves. When I got back with groceries, we put on some music and we all pitched in to get the house and the food ready. It’s nice to have the kids big enough to help. Peace made no-bake cheesecake and Gabriel made a platter for vegetables and dip all by himself. It was a nice day and I was appreciating all that we’ve been blessed with and how good it is to share our meals and our time and our lives. The only thing that would have made it better was if Mom was here, and Jacob and Jackie and Joseph and Josh and Annie…..

Having people over is something that for one reason or another, we haven’t done a lot of over that last couple years and I’d really like to do more of this year.

Boxes of Papers

2006-04-27T15:23:00.000-07:00

I spent a couple hours going through 2 boxes of papers yesterday. This was a very random assortment of stuff—calendars I saved because they have cute things the kids said scribbled on them, or their heights and weights at a certain age, old journals of mine, a few sweet letters and cards from my husband, lots of stuff I no longer needed and there were pictures the kids had drawn. Seeing the kids drawing was so cute and finding little things they’re said like—

“I want Jesus to give me a guitar, no three guitars and He can get more.”

“Here’s a picture of Daddy with a pear and another pear and an apple and a banana and a pizza and a bagel…”

“Mommy told me we are going to have a new baby. I hope it’s a girl. Babies are such a cute little nature”

“Every girl I see is a beautiful graceful angel floating above heaven,
And boys are handsome
Very Much
And I love them even if they’re rude”

So that’s always fun and nostalgic to go through and we had some good laughs. I took 2 trash bags of paper to the recycling. Not sure why I saved some of that stuff! I guess now with the internet I don’t have to rip recipes and craft ideas our of magazines with the intention of using them someday.

I realized that a season of life with little kids has passed. I’m handing down my “preschool ideas” to my sister. We heard yesterday that the boys we wanted to adopt will most likely be going to a relative who can take all four. I was disappointed for us, but it sounds good for them and we’ll see what the future has for us in that way. In the mean time I intend to fully enjoy this “big kid” season.
There’s a part of looking back over the past that is so bittersweet. I read my journals and see how different I was, but how the same I still am. I pile up all these ideas that I just never did, articles I never read, recipes I never made, inspirations I never put into practice. I think of that quote’ life is what happens while you’re making other plans’. Oh the many times I have resolved to do better, the expectations I have had. I can see those “failings” piled up like papers on the floor and be discouraged, but then I stop and think of life as it really has been and the pile of “joys”,the precious times, the grace of God and the love in our family and its so much bigger. I’m ok with not having “done everything” if I’ve traded that for building relationships and the things that can’t be measured.

Catching Up

2006-04-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

It’s almost the end of April. I haven’t written in my blog in a month. I actually have a blog on 2 sites now and have just been putting off writing because it was feeling complicated, esp. to post pictures. But I would rather just jot down a few sentences now and then than never get to it because it’s too time consuming to make it perfect.

So what’s going on with us?

Spring has been rainy so far, but the past few days we’ve had some beautiful sun. Our flower bed is bursting with new color every day, as perennials return and we’ve added a few new things. Lots of blue this year.

We’re getting to that time of the year that we are close to finishing some subjects and the kids are counting the days. It’s been a busy year with of outside activities, but I feel like our home school time has been smooth and the kids are all taking initiative to get their work done when they’re supposed to. For the first time in years I feel like we’re gaining ground with some organizing and routines as we all pitch in together. It becoamesa lot less overwhelming.

Jessamyn moved to the brown belt class in Karate and has just one test before she tests for black belt. She went to an American Civil War dance last night and had a fun time learning some dances from that era. She’s knitting her 2nd sweater, a baby elf sweater for Poppy.

Gabriel has his green belt with a black stripe and is going to chess twice a week. He loves it and is going to a tournament at a local school in a few weeks. He’s made friends with a couple boys down the street and that’s been fun for him.

Peace went to roller skating yesterday. She’s the only one who seems to find that fun at this point. She’s reading huge books and helping in the garden. She and Jessamyn are both excited about their dance recitals coming up in May.

On Thursday nights I’ve been going to a mosaic class, which is really interesting. I feel good to have some creative things going, as well as going swimming for exercise more. Mosaic is fun because you get to SMASH stuff! Take the broken pieces and make something more unique and beautiful, there’s a very spiritual parallel there. While I’m at class, Scott and the kids have been brainstorming ideas and have a basic plot for a novel. The kids are always starting stories, so we want to help them finish them. I went to a writer’s workshop and that was inspiring to get them developing their writing more.

So, in the middle of this we are starting the process to adopt 2 little boys! We have always wanted to do this and maybe these are the ones. Scott’s sister has been a foster mother to them for 2 years and we spent some time with them on visits. They are precious and we’re all excited and hopeful (cautiously hopeful because these things can take time and go all sorts of directions) and trying to make plans. We need lots of prayer—it would really change our lives!

Well, that sort of captures what our family’s been up to. I really want to get more thoughts up here more often.

Spring Cleaning (kind of)

2006-03-27T14:22:00.000-08:00

It's the first day of spring break but you'd think it was Christmas-- from the living room, i am hearing the happy sounds of a harmonica, and "look at this!" and "hey look at all these i have !" the sound of legos being piled and the occasional"I get this". No, Christmas did not come early (or late) and UPS has not come to the door-- I found a box in the garage that was full of junk we never sorted through last time we did a thourough cleaning on Gabriel's room! A wonderful and scary assortment of a busy boy's junk-- Legos, dozens of rubber bands, coins, sharp rocks duct taped to sticks to make arrows, a barrel of monkeys not in the barrel anymore. dried up markers, marbles, coins form a few different counties, magnets with paper clips and nails stuck to them.... tell me we're not the only ones, please!!! But a very fun way for the kids to pass the afternoon (if we were really studioous we could pretend it's an archeological dig) so, there's part of me that says I don't want to clean their rooms using this method anymore (the stash and dash) but on the other hand, here we have a whole afternoon of thrills and amusement 6 months later.

Gabriel's Birthday Today

2006-03-26T09:50:00.000-08:00

Chess cake by Aunt Beca

Gabriel turns 11 today! We already had a family party and will be having a friend party in a few days. (Birthdays in this family seem to turn into week-long extravaganzas!) But today is his real birthday and I just want us to relax and enjoy the day. We started with our “traditional” breakfast of crepes with berries and whipped cream and chocolate sauce, read out loud from Eldest, the dragon story that’s getting really exciting. Now the kids are doing their jobs and setting up for a game of Clue, as well as continuing Heroscape, Gabriel’s new favorite game. I hope to get them outdoors for a walk later. Gabriel can bring his new pocket knife and cut up the sticks he collects!

Early spring is such a sweet time to have a baby, all that waiting through the winter and it rained all week, but the day he was born the sun shone, everything sparkled in the light and we were so glad to have our son in our arms. He’s everything we could want in a boy—boundless energy, imagination, curiosity, and affection. He says it feels like he’s been 10 for a whole year now! The days go by slow sometimes but the years go by fast. The kids have been reminiscing a lot lately about when they were little, which must mean they are feeling grown up. And as Gabriel says, he doesn’t really want to grow up, but he does look forward to all the exciting ideas he wants to do. He wants to be a stay at home dad to lots and lots of children, like 40! He’s a boy who knows strongly what he likes—art. writing, building, outdoors, chess, fantasy stories and games, martial arts, reading, the ocean, computer, and being silly with his family. It has been and will be fascinating to watch him develop his interests and personality as he’s becoming an young man. My prayer for him is that he will know when to be strong and when to be gentle with his words and actions and that he will always pursue the path God has for him with a whole heart.

I love you so much, Gabriel. I always tell you that you are the best boy I could imagine. I love your liveliness and the way you love me. I hope this is your best year ever!

A Mama's Hands

2006-02-22T17:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Gabriel said to me,
“Mom, I love your hands, they never change”.
I said,
“That’s because they’re the hands that have cared for you your whole life.”

That was so sweet to me. We talked about how much his hands are growing and how much more they’ll keep growing. I love my children, they’re my Happy Thoughts!

Then I was remembering how much I loved my mom’s soft hands and playing with her wedding ring during church when I was a kid. She's nurtured us and loved us with those hands our whole lives. As I went to title this “Mama’s Hands’, thinking only about Gabriel’s comment, the timing was ironic because my mom injured one of her hands the other day and has been really sick with an infection in it. This is probably the longest we can remember her needing care and not being the one taking care of everyone else. As bad as we have felt for her though, we don’t mind caring for her a bit—it could never compare to the years of her caring for us—holding our hands, cooking, cleaning, everything.

As I grow older and my hands get more wrinkly I don’t want to be bothered by it, I just want to remember, these are the hands that my children love. Now if I could just come to terms with going gray… maybe that will be my next topic!

Rebeca read this and just sent me this beautiful picture of our mom's hands. (photo taken by Erik)

Knitting

2006-02-21T17:34:00.000-08:00

I just started my first knitting project. Jessamyn has been making beautiful scarves for a couple years and I decided to join her in a class this term. It’s been fun and a learning experience ( I don’t like getting it wrong, I want it to be perfect on the first try, I want the end result without the practice…) Knitting, like life, goes much better if I relax my shoulders and take a breath once in a while, and like a good habit, soon becomes automatic and I can do it without thinking.

It’s been unexpectedly fun to be doing it in a class. The teacher has been so encouraging and it’s inspiring to see how everyone’s projects are going each week. Moms and girls together , both learning and teaching, as it used to be when people had quilting bees, etc. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors from down the street, as well as meeting up again with a family we hadn’t seen for years. I think I’ll miss it when it’s over.

And all that gorgeous yarn they have now—it’s so hard to choose! I guess I’ll have to keep finding projects when this one is done.

Gloria's Wedding

2006-02-18T20:55:00.000-08:00

Gloria and Okon’s wedding (from my view as Big Sister and Coordinator of Glamour)

The wedding was so Beautiful. Gloria was glowing beautiful and it was beautiful how so many family members and friends go to be involved in making the day special from start to finish. Lots of work, but it made it really special and meaningful to all of us. Our mom made Gloria’s dress and veil and worked hard to get a custom fit and the design even evolved as she went. All us girls got to join Gloria on shopping trips (yeah Christmas clearance!) and every time we got together we were updating her on the perfect candle holders we got at the goodwill, or the sugar calla lilies Beca found for the cake, the hunt for more Michael’s coupons, lace and cranberries. We soon realized a small wedding doesn’t necessarily mean a simple one, but then again, who in our family has ever kept anything simple (ok, maybe Dad, once when we let him). At our house, we took Gloria’s decorating ideas and for a couple weeks, we had tulle and lights and cranberries in glasses and candles all “practicing” around our house(my kids are creative, but opinionated!) we got free samples whenever Beca tested a new cake (3 decadent flavors-chocolate-hazelnut, lemon and chai) and Peace was thrilled to spend a morning as cake helper. Then whirlwind picked up pace when the 3 J’s arrived form Alaska—more shopping and a fun shower for Gloria, all fueled by coffee and chocolate, of course Jacob and Dad labored over carnitas and enchiladas (the best) for the Mexican dinner. Gabriel painted a painting that we turned in to a card. That was special because he loves to paint with Gloria. Peace also got to help Gloria make favors and Gloria was remembering how she had done that with me for my wedding when she was Peace’s age. So we all got as ready as we could and the big day arrived, the first non-rainy day in a long time. We shared a breakfast and presentaion of gifts (evolution of the toolbox) and words of encouragement and blessing. Then it was a rush of activity, Beca had the most beautiful cake ever to assemble, we needed to create a breathtaking atmosphere in the cottage (thankful for the women who beautified and the men who engineered the lights, etc) and there were 3 year olds needing naps and everyone needing showers and mirrors….

Between our family and Okon’s and friends we pulled it all together by 3:00, candles lit along the fireplace, lights all around and overhead, quiet music by Margaret and Natalie, a very handsome groom… and then we waited.. and waited… ( well, she had said it would be her Moment of Drama) and waited, then there they were, teary parents, beaming Gloria, with her Spanish lace veil and bouquet of dark callas and peacock feathers. And the wedding began. It was short and simple. I like when people write their own vows. Everyone cheered as they had the first kiss as husband and wife and then they went off to take pictures by the river (great photos by Erik) and the rest of us made coffee , set tables, heated up dinner and visited, and took family pictures. The dinner was delicious—how can you beat home cooked by the 2 families? The atmosphere was so magically pretty, and they looked so happy. There were toasts (especially meaningful was hearing Okon talk about when he met Gloria and also what his sister said about our two families) and laughter and celebration and kisses and gifts and CAKE.

When it was time for them to leave, we lined up on each side of the side walk and help up lit sparklers for them to walk through (Scott was in his element as head of pyrotechnics) and we sent them on their way (in their “glass slipper” with Just Married sign by Jessamyn in the back window and baskets of goodies for feasting on their honeymoon) We started cleaning up and though we were tired, the feeling of celebration continues with dancing ( Okon’s taught the girls the Electric Slide) Gabriel drove JoJo around on the cart and we blew out the candles.

It was emotional for me. I remember when Gloria was born. I remember helping pick her name and how the northern lights danced for her that night. I remember her love of purple and changing her clothes fifty times a day and her homemade cabbage patch doll and her being a wild and strong little girl in her white nightgown and her long hair. I remember braiding her hair and creating some great 80’s choreography with her! How she thought I was just too lucky to be real and she was my great excuse –to watch her instead of sitting in church or gardening or (Lord help us) cutting up a deer. I hope that as she starts her family, time will only bring all of us sisters even closer.

It was a special day for everyone and I think we’re all glad to have been a part of it. It was really a beautiful , perfect day and I love my sister and welcome Okon to our family and wish them a long and happy life together!

pictures by Erik Groomer 2-5-06

Today

2006-02-14T15:04:00.000-08:00

This morning it snowed here, a rare and unexpected treat. It was falling down so gently and in such big fat flakes. What amazes me about living here is that we can have snow like that in the morning and this afternoon be admiring the pink blooming trees in the bright sunshine. Peace has been so excited about the signs of spring, crocuses, and daffodils already. I love that she loves gardening and growing flowers so much.

I realized yesterday that writing this blog has really helped me to be thankful for the rich blessings in my life. So much joy and beauty that i don't always take the time to experience. My personal journal contains my late night and early morning scribblings and is so much more filled with my feelings that aren't the ones I readily want to share-- all my frustrations, overwhelmedness, indecision, fears and prayers that cry for help fill the pages. My resolutions to be better, do better, cope better...the circle of thoughts that lead me back to Truth and peace. Just whatever's in my mind and heart that needs to pour out. I do write about good things as well, and I don't want to only put those things in my blog, I want to be able to share my struggles as well. But it's been good to start with writing about my blessings because that's what's come to my mind, even taken me by surprise. When Rebeca started her blog and it was full of beautiful and encouraging insights, I was inspired to write, but felt I would need to warn everyone that when I write, it's either newsy and silly or it's crazy and rambling and honest and depressing. It feels good, it gives me perspective to be able to write about both the dark and light of my life(and to read about others)I guess that's what any kind of art, including writing does, it expresses something you didn't even know was there. Now if i would just let go of my fear of what would happen if i starting painting ....

Romance

2006-02-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

I’ve been aware that Valentine’s Day is coming up for a while now. Not just because of all the candy and junk at the stores (since when did valentine’s day become an occasion to buy stuffed animals and plastic toys for your kids and pets???) but because whenever I look out our bedroom window I see my neighbor’s decorations. This is the first year this lady has been in this house and we to enjoy each holiday to the fullest, complete with flags, banners, window clings, garlands, and ribbons. There was a blow up haunted house at Halloween, complete with howling sound effects. Santa’s on the chimney and large turkeys… probably every neighborhood has a house like that. Anyway, I looked out my window a couple weeks ago and thought the red glow was emergency vehicles, but it was just the beginning of the valentine’s season and the red light was from the flashing neon sign the said LOVE in their window. So we have love outside our window and romance is in the air—well, the heart shaped banner are streaming ion the wind anyway, and I’ve been thinking about it….

I guess what’s really romantic are the things that are special to your relationship. The things that are anticipated traditions, and the things that catch you by surprise and make you remember why this is the one you loved and still love and will keep loving year after year. I like how Scott calls me outside, or on the phone, to look at the moon, or the sunset, or the rainbow, or to see the snow because he knows I’ll be excited about it. How he always watches for the first rose to bloom and he cuts it with a long stem and takes all the thorns off of it and hides it behind his back before he presents it to me. How he has so much excitement about my birthday and Christmas present and wants me open them early. How he loves babies. How we can still laugh at the same jokes that are just ours from years ago. How we can get talking and not realize it’s one in the morning. Our lives are really busy and full with our children and although we plan dates sometimes and are able to get that time away together in the classic romantic sense—I think it’s these little things woven in our lives and appreciated in our hearts that keep our love alive. It’s going through life together, facing some hard things, but knowing we’re in it together. I’ve heard several people give him compliments lately –he was dependable, a willing servant, he’s working hard to deal with unexpected difficulties and I see him through different eyes and don’t want to take him for granted.
So, Valentine’s day… I have many memories come to mind. We don’t usually celebrate it on the actual day, sometimes Scott’s had to work. Our trip to New York, the first year we were married he gave me the Bible I read everyday. A spagetti dinner with friends, special menus planned by the kids, little letter of love to eachother, flowers that brightened up the house for weeks until spring arrived, decadent boxes of Euphoria chocolate. I always find myself thinking, Valentine’s isn’t that big of a deal, we always love each other, it so commercial…..But then I’m glad it’s a holiday because it’s good to celebrate love, romantic love and all kinds of love that we’re been given. And with that light outside our window flashing LOVE LOVE LOVE there's no way we could ignore it.

Chess and My Blue-eyed Boy

2006-01-26T07:13:00.001-08:00

Gabriel is taking a Chess class and though he had played before, he is suddenly very excited about it. He studies his notebook, plays with his dad, uncle, grandma, and by himself. He wanted to teach me a couple weeks ago and I tried for his sake, but realized I like a game you don’t have to think about so much. Yesterday he wanted me to play again, so I said ok. He thrives on undivided attention and Scott had just left on a trip, so I figured I could take time out of my busyness for him. I got a cup of tea and we sat down to play and it turned out to be the sweetest time. I’d been going in all directions all morning and to sit across from him and see his blue eyes light up and his expressive face as he talked excitedly about strategies, castle-ing, and corridors. I was filled with such a love and appreciation for him. We have been butting heads lately and sometimes I’m overwhelmed by his energy. I was reminded of all his charm and uniqueness and how much it means for him to have time alone with me. Because of his enthusiasm, I actually learned some things (like what the pieces are called and how they can move!) and we had a great time. I saw that something I was doing for his sake turned out to be a blessing for me. I still don’t know if I’ll ever love Chess or win a game, but I do love my boy and our times together.

The River Path

2006-01-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

Gloria and I walked down by Alton Baker Park yesterday afternoon. It’s been raining so much and the river is so high, it’s amazing. The water’s up to the bottom of the little bridge and is lapping waves up around it. It’s flowing so fast and muddy with big splashes of white against the bushes on the other side. The bench where we feed the birds on the island is half under water and the duck and geese didn’t seem to know what to do. I felt the same—my familiar walking place, yet everything seems out of place and wild. But really beautiful and alive! It had been cold and foggy, but the sun burst out and actually felt warm on our faces, making us wish for Spring. Gloria showed me the red branches she wants us to use to decorate her wedding next week and took me to see the peacocks that live by the maintenance building. I never would have known to look for them, but there’s a male and female and he was too shy to fan his tail, but so magnificently beautiful blue in the sun. We talked about all kinds of things while we walked. Life is such a mix of good and hard, and so many family and friends going though things right now. Ones who are sick in the hospital, family waiting for news, a marriage hanging by a thread, the girls who’s dad died in this river on New Year’s day. Our aunt who’s lost so many loved ones, and how could one person bear that much pain? The sadness of life on this earth.. and then the joys and wonders. Weddings . Having someone who loves you completely and wants to be with you forever. Healthy, beautiful children who make me laugh everyday. We talked about how we don’t know how we’d get through if something bad happened that changed every thing, and we don’t even want to think about it. I have to believe that God is a present help in time of need and has grace and strength for what each day might hold. I look at Gloria and Okon beginning their life together and I hope the journey is like how the river path usually is-winding by a lazy river that sparkles in the sun. Enjoying each day but also knowing there are miles of beauty still ahead and wonderful surprises like “the red berry tree” we raided at Christmas and the peacock couple and watching the sun set and the moon rise. I love the many blessings of having a family and I want all that for them. I also know that life can be hard. We’ll have fog and rain and maybe someday it will even feel that the river has flooded high enough to sweep us away someday. Maybe we’ll have to find a different way than we planned, maybe it will take longer and be steeper, but if that time comes for them, for us, and those we talked of who are living it right now—God, I ask for the grace to be there, strength to keep going, for some unexpected beauty along the way, some birds to sing when we can’t and the hope and promise of spring again.

I have been kind if emotional and reflective, maybe because my little sister is getting married. It’s a precious time and it goes so fast. This year we’ll have been married 16 years and our oldest will be in high school! I want to make the most of our days. One of our favorite songs says:
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up,
Because the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to Love.--superchic(k)

Little Women

2006-01-11T21:05:00.000-08:00

I watched Little Women with the girls tonight. Peace had never seen it and she didn't think she'd like it, but I told her to give it a try. She ended up saying that she loved the story and wants to read the book. I remembered that when I was her age Little Women was my favorite book and I used it for as many book reports as my teachers would let me. I think the first one I read was a children's version where Beth doesn't actually die. I loved the way it paralled with Pilgrim's progress, and the surprising twists the story takes. Mostly, I was drawn to the way the family stuck together through good and bad times. And the way each of the sisters was so different, but they loved each other so much.

It's fun to be able to pass on our love of certain stories to our children and remember my mom doing the same with us. I remember both of us crying and crying at the end of Charlotte's Web. All of us kids begging for just one more chapter of the suspenseful Trapped in the Old Cabin. Laughing over the Gordon Korman books. Not wanting the last in the Narnia series to come to an end. We didn't have a tv and lots of evenings were spent reading together. It was also a good way to pass the time on many long car trips.

We always have a chapter book going and usually I save it for last after our other school work and Bible reading are done. But this moring I brought it out first and we read 2 chapters of Eragon, eating breakfast and drinking tea, wrapped in blankets on the couch. Eragon is a fantasy that ended up on the best seller list, written by a homeschooled teenager. He has such an extensive vocabulary that I've had to get the dictionary out few times. Today we learned what exactly a zephyr is and what it meant when a horse quaffed. Because of it's themes, I'm glad to be reading it together with the kids-- it leads to all kinds of interesting discussions.

I hope my children will continue to enjoy being read to for a long, long time. I hope they continue to like some the books I grew up on and learn from the new ones. I hope Peace will like Little Women, but if not--that's ok, there's a lot more books out there!

Enough is as Good as a Feast

2006-01-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

I am blessed with so much in my life. I’m blessed with the things that matter—love and family and friends. I’m blessed to live in a beautiful place, to be free to believe what I want and to teach my children. I’m blessed to have so many opportunities and choices. And compared to most of the world, I am blessed worth an abundance of material things.

I’ve been thinking about those material things. I often say to the kids as we wander distractedly through a store-“Have you noticed they’re just trying to sell us stuff?’ Of course, that’s true, but I don’t always want to think of it that way. They want me to exchange my money for these things. That money spent cannot be spent again and it can’t be spent on something else, perhaps something more important. That money took a measured amount of my husband’s time and energy to earn. I’m responsible to spend it wisely.

We have had some years when money was tight and there weren’t so many options and decisions to make (besides which bill to pay late and which kind of Ramen noodles to buy!) I am so grateful for the blessing we have enjoyed the past few years of having a more stable income and room in our budget for some “extras”. But that comes also with a sobering sense of wanting to be a good steward of what we have, to use it wisely for our family and to help others.

I love to get a good price on stuff. That has, at times, contributed to my being a “junk collector’, as we call it in our family. I would see things at a garage sale, the Goodwill, or clearance table, or the homeschool give-away box and think I needed to get it just because it was a good deal, and if I didn’t need it, surely someone I knew could use it. I am trying not to do that anymore—I don’t want to add to the piles in my closet and the boxes in my garage that I am already need to clear the clutter out of. So, as I often find myself thinking some things a good deal, or free, and I might have a use for it someday, I am trying to stop and think-- What will having this thing gain me? Is it needed, useful or would actually bring beauty and joy to our lives? Or is it just one more thing that will cost me—by wasting my money, cluttering my house and ending up in a pile of stuff that overwhelms me?

I have to admit I fall into the trap advertising sets for me sometimes. I see the shiny pictures, the displays at the mall, the colors, or the excitement of an e-bay auction, the feeling of walking down the mall with an armful of bags, and I unconsciously think I would be happier if I just had that thing. I recently went to a Pampered Chef party with one or two things I was going to buy and then when I started looking at the catalogue- I saw about 20 more I wanted. There’s nothing wrong with these things, in fact some of them I probably will buy someday-if I will really use them and have a place for them. It was just the change I felt in my heart-rather than thankfulness for what I got, I focused on wishing I had more. And the truth is while these kitchen tools may be fun or make my jobs easier, no matter how well my kitchen is outfitted- they themselves don’t create the atmosphere of sitting down to a delicious meal with my family. It’s people—like the Proverb says ”better is a dish of vegetables where love is…” I think the lies that advertising sells us, especially women, are important to keep in mind and to expose to ourselves and to our children.

Peace and I were in the Goodwill about a year ago and I pulled out a pretty shirt her size. It was a good brand and only a dollar or two and I was trying to see if she wanted me to buy it for her. She told me, ”No, I think I have enough shirts’. This older lady was near us and she said,” Isn’t it great that someone so young can know when enough is enough?” That has stuck with me. Let’s leave the shirt for someone who needs it and will be happy to have it. Enough is enough.. Or as Mary Poppins said ,”Enough is as good as a feast.”
I have a quote on my fridge that says,’Life is relationships, the rest is just stuff. We can’t take it with us. It should serve us rather that us serving it by having it be too important or take away from what is important. I also am having the thought that this way of thinking is the key to living a simple life. Enough is enough when it comes to material things, but also to activities, to the pressure we put on ourselves, the things that complicate our lives.
So, the next time I go to the store and start getting vortexed—that’s what my kids say when we start wandering in circles looking at stuff—I want to see all that Stuff for what it is, no matter how great the sale is. I want to tell myself the truth about how happy it will make me, to make a wise decision, and to be very thankful for what I have been blessed with.

Growing

2006-01-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

Well, I have officially admitted it-- my daughter is taller than me! At 13, Jessamyn has passed 5'6'' and is still growing taller. It's just one more moment in realizing how fast the time goes and how much I love my children. We were looking at baby pictures this week and it really seems like not so long ago that they were just like they're cousins who are 3 years old and 9 months old. Not only are they growing so rapidly on the outside, but I see their maturity and personality taking shape on the inside, to. They are becoming more thoughtful and aware of how what they affects other people, and getting independent in so many ways. That independence causes such mixed emotions in me. Sadness because they don't need me in some ways anymore. Excitement to see what the future holds for them. Gratefulness for the strong relationship we have and hope that that relationship will grow in new ways. A sense that it's time for me to find my identtity in more than just being their mom, as they find their identities apart from me. A prayer for all of us as we find our way as a family, that we will make the most of our days and years together and remember how precious we are to each other. Because before I know it, they will all be passing my height mark on the kitchen wall! picture--Mother's Day 2005 (when I was still taller!)

Mint Flower

2005-12-20T10:35:00.000-08:00

Mint Flower

I love my middle name.

Middle names are kind of like a hidden part of you. There’s your first name, your identity, the name you hear everyday. There’s your last name so everyone knows who you belong with. But you can go a long time and not know someone’s middle name, and when you do, it can add to the character of that person in your mind. It can even tell part of their story.

My middle name is unique. It never fails to draw a comment from clerks who look at my driver’s license at the video store or bank. New friends tend to think it’s really cool—or interesting- when they find out. In a world of girls with the middle names Lynn and Marie, I think I may just be the only one with my name.

I didn’t always love my name. Once upon a time I didn’t even like it. But now I love it. I love that it’s mine.

Alyssa Mint Flower.

Mint is pretty. It’s both refreshing and healing. It’s very fragrant, and yes, it has a story.

My mom named me Alyssa. She made it up and I was eighteen before I met another Alyssa.(of course, now it’s gotten popular for younger girls) My dad named me Mint Flower because when I was born I was tiny and sweet like all the little purple mint flowers blooming all around our house. That makes my names so special to me now. It’s the love behind the first gift my parents gave me.

Another reason it’s meaningful to me is because for so long I wanted to have a different name, something more common and easier to spell. Something more “like everyone else”. People always mispronounced Alyssa anyway, and when we moved from our valley of “flower children” to a conservative little town- well, Mint Flower was just embarrassing. My mom graciously let me register for school under the middle name “Mary”. So I went by that for several years if anyone asked. I did have a kindred spirit in my friend Amanda, who’s middle name was Maize (she told the girls it was May) I wanted a name like everyone else, to wear what they wore, to eat what they ate (that’s a whole other story!) I wish I could have appreciated my name, myself, my family and my differences at that young age.

So I moved from our cabin in the woods to prairies, deserts and rocky mountains where mint didn’t grow wild. I remember one summer driving through the mint fields of Oregon and my dad pulled the car over and picked me a bouquet for my birthday. I didn’t know that years later, I would end up living here with my own family, with my own mint blooming outside my door, and my daughter picking it to dry for tea each summer. That I would walk by the river and smell it and search for a purple flower to take in my pocket, a little reminder of being loved.

God says he knew me before I was born, He knows my name, and it’s written in His book and engraved on His hands.
Time went by and at some point in my growing up and becoming me, I realized that I really do love my name, because it’s part of who I am and it was given to me in love, by parents who saw my preciousness and uniqueness and wanted my life to be blessed. I pray as I keep “growing in grace” I will be a fragrant offering to the One who calls me by name.